Big Ern and company are back in action with even more new wacky adventures! That's right folks, this summer's biggest blockbuster may very well be "Weekend at Ernie's." The story begins with the much-maligned Kentucky Governor falling ill to a gallbladder ailment, only to be carried throughout the state by his two "best buds," Cory Meadows and Dick Murgatroyd. Watch the governor's body get into wacky predicaments involving ethics scandals and funeral crashing...

Ok, that was a fairly half-baked attempt at comedy. Had I not been so outraged I quite possibly could have turned it into something, but Ernie and Company have driven me nearly to the point of insanity. For those of you unfamiliar with Governor Ernie Fletcher and his wacky adventures, allow me to throw out a few highlights of his term in office:

* Rolled back state Medicaid requirements to implement "Get Healthy Kentucky!" (Which is pretty much what it sounds like... the Governor yelling "GET HEALTHY" at you until you do... or die)

* Found himself in a dis-war with Jay Leno

* Nearly crashed his private plane into President Reagan's casket causing mass panic and evacuation (not to mention the scrambling of some fighter jets).

* Jacked up health insurance costs to countless state employees, including those "just in it for the money" types... like schoolteachers.

* Began firing life-long state employees based exclusively on their involvement in the Democratic Party... then denied doing so.

* ... then was investigated

* ... then was caught red-handed

* ... then pardoned everyone anyway

* ... then fired everyone (leaving most of the state to share the following expression)

* Hired a major campaign contributor to head up the Governor's Communication Offices at a salary of 105,000 dollars annually... this man is expected to be Big Ern's campaign manager in '07.

* Approval ratings drop to 36%, three points lower than that of former Governor Paul Patton's at the peak of the scandal that drove him from office in shame.

* And now, in his most recent development, Governor Fletcher has appointed two of his campaign contributors to the STATE SUPREME COURT to hear only one case... the charges brought against him by the State Attorney General in the aforementioned scandal.

OH MY GOD... IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING!?

They say that Ohio's Governor (Bob Taft) is actually worse. And being that his approval ratings are somewhere around 19% I'd say that's probably true. BUT HOW!? What can Taft possibly be doing that's much worse than this? He must be breaking in on Ohio State football broadcasts to sing songs in Arabic while stomping on kittens. I promise you that even if he did just that, there would still be members of the Republican Party spinning it as a "non-issue being trumped up by the liberal media."