Fred Phelps is a jackass.

I think that I've finally reached the conclusion that Fred Phelps is the worst person ever. Really. Is he worse than Hitler, it's possible. I mean, at least Hitler paved some roads, to the best of my knowledge Fred Phelps has never done one good thing in his entire life.

The fact that he's now taken to picketing funerals of soldiers killed in action has, to me, put him in a whole new category of jackass. Reverend Phelps tends to believe that not only does God hate fags (as his website explains), but God hates an entire an entire list of things. For example, did you know that God hates the FDNY? He also hates John Edwards, Sweden, and he really hates King Carl Gustaf.

Reverend Fred may truly be the craziest man in America, but you've really got to hand it to the people that follow him. What makes a person get out of bed in the morning and think, "y'know, today would be a good day to march around ground zero in New York protesting the dead." How damn crazy do you have to be to fall for that garbage? More importantly, why did Reverend Fred let his minions within two miles of Howard Stern!? Surely he must be the most evil creature going... right? And may I add, what a waste! Those chicks aren't too bad looking.

Fred has recently decided to erect a memorial to gay martyr Matthew Shepherd. Of course, being that it's Reverend Fred, you can't seriously expect it to be even remotely flattering. In fact, it's down right nasty. I'm all for freedom of speech, and thus his right to say and do these types of things, but I'm also for the freedom to knock the crap out of him if he's ever within striking distance.


Needless to say, Hurricane Katrina was a good thing. It severely punished the terrible sinners in that hellhole called New Orleans. Now, I'll agree 100% with Reverend Fred that New Orleans is a hellhole, but I do find it hard to believe that the hellholery had anything to do with naturally occurring weather phenomena.

I think my favorite line has to be, "fag-semen-rancid waters of New Orleans," or perhaps the timeless phrase, "stinking cesspool of fag fecal matter." It's becoming apparent that according to Reverend Fred, everyone on Earth seems to be a "fag." In fact, I do believe that the only non-fags seem to be the members of his congregation.


It should also be stated that in his later years (or possibly in his early years, I've only been keeping up with him for a few of them) Reverend Fred has gotten a bit paranoid. According to his website, on August 20, 1995, the Westboro Baptist Church (essentially his house) was bombed by the United States Government. I'm sure that Fred is right up there with the Taliban, Osama Bin Laden and, I guess Hugo Chavez, now.

-- Really... how far right do you have to be to think that KANSAS is a demonic, left wing, pro-gay state!?--

Essentially, Fred is my new public enemy number one. I think it's time that we start protesting his protests. Or even better, perhaps it's time we just kick his old ass.