Presidential RAGE Unleashed!!

President Bush met Tuesday with Autistic basketball star Jason McElwain in his home state of New York to discuss overcoming diversity with the inspirational high school student. The meeting began as a typical presidential meet-and-greet affair, but quickly turned ugly during a discussion of the seeding of The University of Texas Longhorns in the 2006 Men's NCAA Tournament.

Bush, apparently feeling that the No. 2 seed offered to The 'Horns this March was unfair, lashed out at the boy, taking off his head in one fluid motion. Bush then planted the head on a spike, carrying it around the airport as a warning not only to "evil doers," but "Sooners fans and A&M pussies."

The development sent shockwaves through the White House Press Corps and lit up the major news affiliates for sometimes as much as three minutes at a time. "We were expecting it, really" said veteran White House correspondent Helen Thomas of the Boston Globe, "It started with Cheney shooting that older gentleman in the face, and now this. The frightening part isn't what we know, but what we don't know. Personally I'd like a full investigation of the crawlspace under [Secretary of Defense] Donald Rumsfeld's house."

Of course, Republican pundits were quick to weigh in on the president's controversial decision to decapitate a bright-eyed autistic boy. Rush Limbaugh quickly defined the controversy as "ludicrous" and "blown totally out of proportion." "Y'know," Limbaugh said, "these lefties, commies, flag burners, Christ-punchers, whatever you call 'em... they're just looking for issues now. Am I the only red-blooded, flag waving AMERICAN that supports my president's decision to take out a danger like McElwain?"

Early reports in both the Washington Times and New York Post are reporting alleged ties between the McElwain Family and Islamic Fundamentalist Terror Cells operating within the United States. Stay with Blogjammin for further updates on this developing story.