It's June 6, 2006... the day that we're all gonna die! Well, actually probably not. Although I'm sure someone is going to die today I have a fairly good feeling that it isn't me and probably isn't you. However, more than a few wacked-out fundies are using this day to propogate fear all throughout the country.

We have The Omen opening up today, an unusual release for a late spring, holiday-free Tuesday... but the 6/6/06 paranoia has worked to it's advantage. Ordinarily this film would have passed along the way with the Amityville remake or Skeleton Key or some other crap-fest, but now it's an international phenomenon. Thus proving that there are no more gullible creatures on this earth than humans.

Of course, let us not forget NATIONAL DAY OF SLAYER. I don't mind people who enjoy a little Slayer from time to time... hell, I have great friends that love some Slayer. But come on, isn't this a little too cheesy for the evil under lords of scary metal? And to top it off, you get the stereotypical Slayer fan making comments like these from a (I'm not making this up) blog dedicated to NATIONAL DAY OF SLAYER...

"I think our US friends are not thinking big enough. I'm calling for an INTERNATIONAL Day of Slayer. I reckon they probably sold more albums in Europe than the US anyway. With time zone differences, the INTERNATIONAL Day of Slayer could stretch out to around 37 hours, give or take some daylight savings (don't bother telling me that's incorrect - speed metal does not obey the laws of physics)."

True... but unfortunately it fails to obey the laws of quality as well.

Don't think for one second that the Uber-Christians are going to get off the hook on this one, either. If you've been stockpiling food and water or just sitting naked on your roof awaiting the goat-monkey-bat monsters to swoop down up you then let me be the first to say, "please get down from the roof and bring your cans of beans with you."

As Brinton so thoroughly enjoys pointing out, I am a man who believes in God. I am also a man who believes in science, and guess what people, those two people actually CAN cohabitate the same body! My point being, if you've gotten so sucked into the absolute fundamentalist madness of some sects of Christianity, then you need an intervention. You're no better or worse than the wacked out fundamentalist Muslims that you abhor.

How do you know if you're one of these people? Take my easy, five question quiz:

1. Have you ever recoiled in horror or been genuinely concerned when a bill and/or change comes to six dollars and sixty-six cents?

2. Have you ever refused to accept a license plate that features three sixes in succession?

3. If you knew that your child would be born on June 6, 2006 would you have asked the doctor to induce labor on the fifth?

4. Did you make any special preparations for today such as: stockpiling food or water, keeping the kids home from school, taking the day off, or building giant crucifixes on your lawn?

5. Did it even cross your mind that today was 6/6/06 until someone (myself included) pointed it out to you?

If you answered yes to any of those questions (except MAYBE #5) then perhaps you need to take a rather serious look at yourself. But I'll tell you what, I'll bet each and every reader twenty bucks that goat-monkey-bat monsters won't swoop down and eat me today. If they do, I promise I'll pay up on my deathbed.

Listening to: Manic Street Preachers - Motorcycle Emptiness