Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to say our goodbyes...

As you may or may not know, my friend Rachel (pictured above, and to the right) is leaving on permanent vacation this Monday. She takes to the air sometime during the day to start a new life in Oregon. I can really only wish her the best and be proud of her efforts, but I'm not going to pretend that I won't really miss her when she's gone.

Now, Rachel has been many things to me throughout my life... a lust object, an arch enemy, a best friend and an ol' beeeetch. However, it's the friend part that seems to have endured, so that's what I guess I'll go with. I don't think I'd be even slightly out of line in pointing out that there are more than a few of you that read this with negative opinions of her, but I can only really wish that you'd gotten to know her on the level that I did. You really would have found a wonderful person underneath all of that armor, and you'd be a better person for it. I'm sorry that you didn't... I really am.

Rachel, my life wouldn't be the same without you, nor would the lives of countless other people.

Rachel's the kind of girl that goes over the rainbow to blow up Auntie 'Em.
She goes against the grain, goes insane, goes mad.
She loves fruits, no absolutes, Absolut, choice and the Villiage Voice.
She's an us, not a them.
She's emotional, devotional and commotional.
She's Sontag, Sondheim, Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and anything Taboo
Even Lenny Bruce...
Langston Hughes!

From Bisexuals to Trisexuals to Homosapiens.
Carcinogens, German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
even
Antonini, Bertolucci, Kurosawa.
That's her, the ol' beeeeeeeeeeeeeitch.

So, in honor of her departure Rachel (fresh from her appearance on Furnace Mountain) will perform Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello - which she ain't never studied.

Goodbye Rachel, Life's too short, babe, time is flying I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine... I hope you find yours.

Currently Listening To: La Vie Boheme - RENT Soundtrack... duh.